When the husband and I were first starting to get serious, I was clear that there were a few things I would not make mental space more. This wasn't an actual discussion we had. It was just the expectation we set from the get go because I simply did not take on these tasks.
First, while I happily put his family birthdays on my calendar, I do not handle any of the gift or card shopping. Same goes for the holidays. He handles his family and I handle mine. That way, we both carry the mental load. (Also, at Christmas, the husband wraps all the presents. He's really good at it.)
Second, I do not, in anyway, pay attention to when his "stuff" needs replacing. I will happily buy whatever is on our shared shopping list, but I don't pay a whit of attention to when his toiletries run out or if he needs new clothing.
Finally, anything that is "car." I don't do "car." I don't like driving and, until our kiddo came along, the only relationship I had with our car is that it conveyed me from place to place. The husband handled everything and anything "car" related.
Now, I've had to back away (just a bit) from that last one. Now that I'm squiring the kiddo about and running a few driving errands on my own, I do need to pay (some) attention to "car." Generally, that just means keeping an eye on the fuel gauge. Right now, however, we've got a slow leak in one of our tires. It's not enough to ever go flat, but it does mean we need to add air to it once or twice a month.
Until this week, that was still the husband's territory. On Thursday, after dropping the kiddo off at her art camp, the low tire pressure light came on. Normally, I would have just texted the Husband and let him deal with it. But, he was at a work thing all week. Since I wanted to drive out to a CostCo, I knew that I should fill the tire. This terrified me. All "car" things give me anxiety. But, I tracked down the air pump we have, read the directions, and put air in the tire. Took 10 minutes. I then texted my husband this GIF because it was an accurate depiction of the pride I had in myself.
I even put gas in the tank on my drive home from CostCo.
But that's as far as I'll go. "Car" is still his territory.
What do you not make mental space for?
I’m about halfway through Chasm. The plot is slower than I anticipated. In some ways, it feels like the author is forcing a book two. It’s fine overall, but I’m kind of disappointed given how much I enjoyed the first book. It doesn’t help that one of the more interesting characters has disappeared for the last few chapters.
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This read on old church cookbooks is accurate. [The Takeout]
Look at Merriam-Webster stirring the pot. [Sports Illustrated]
How to make a bingo card for something you are dreading. [Syllabus Project]
This list of foods to try in every state probably has some hot takes. [The Discoverer]
Hold the microphone closer. [The Atlantic - gift link]
Voices from Gaza. [The Daily] (*Note: Content is intense.)
The 15-minute city is not a conspiracy. It's a climate change solution. [Up First]
Modern day art restorers shudder. [Atlas Obscura]
All the reasons to love your library. [Life Kit]
A deep discussion on reading romance. [Hot and Bothered]
This story about a debut album's cover art is just delightful. [99% Invisible]
A surprising amount of labor goes into capturing economic data. [Planet Money]
That's some beautiful bread. [@bishulimschool]
This is way more work than I would ever put into making a coffee, but it was soothing to watch. [@alex.altitudecoffee]
Wow. This took some time to make. [@josephsmachines]
Since I was solo parenting for most of the week, I wanted to watch a show that I didn't need to pay attention to. I ended up rewatching Parks & Recreation from the pilot episode. It's just as good, possibly better, the second time around. The cast of characters work so well together and the over-the-top-ness was just a delight at the end of each day. [Peacock]
I tried out a new recipe this week, BBQ chicken quesadillas. We cooked the chicken in the sous vide and then shredded it to mix with the BBQ sauce. This dish is a few more steps than our normal meals, but the results were tasty. I topped mine with some store bought guacamole. [WaPo - gift link]
I made coconut curry chickpeas for my lunch meal prep. I picked this recipe to use up the kale and various greens we had hanging out in our produce drawer. Since I just dumped them all in, the ratio of sauce to "stuff" was off, but it was still tasty. I wish I had used a hotter curry power. The sauce was mild and a touch lacking in flavor. It was still worth dipping some naan in though. [Budget Bytes]
I tossed together a tofu stir fry with some Thai chili sauce this week. I wanted a more hands off way to cook the tofu and ended up baking it. I am never going back to pan frying! It was so much easier and the result was crispier. Kiddo wasn't a fan, but that just meant I had leftovers to eat the next day. Yum! [Cookie + Kate]
I have seen this stoop in person (in the daytime) and it’s just as glorious as you’d think. [WaPo - gift link]
If you care at all about digital privacy, I highly recommend The Atlantic’s Guide to Privacy. This resource walks you through all the ins and outs of technology - what it tracks, what is stores, and what you can do about it.
I need to work on the final edits for the book chapter I have due at the end of the month. It’s just going to be a lot of accepting track changes, but I’m still not looking forward to it.
My Dad handled "car" and my Mom handled "paperwork". One year they neglected to renew their registration because they each thought it was the other's job.